Choosing the right life partner is among the biggest decisions you’ll ever make. But how can you know if God wants you to be with a specific someone in marriage? How can you best seek confirmation from Him?
As Christians, we believe we should try to make choices – including choosing a life partner – in ways aligned with God’s will. We also know that if we seek Him wholeheartedly, He will reveal His thoughts on the matter in His timing and ways.
Thus, in this post, we’ll cover 5 biblically-based tips that’ll help you discern if God wants you to be with someone in marriage – or not.
But first, let’s briefly discuss His view on marriage and how it relates to us.
What is God’s view on marriage?
God holds a beautiful and sacred view of marriage. He instituted this bonding relationship when He first created humankind.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”Genesis 2:24
Above all, a biblical marriage isn’t just a legal contract or a path to personal fulfillment. It is meant to be an enduring spiritual covenant where partners promise to be faithful to each other, with God Himself as the witness (Malachi 2:14).
For men, a godly marriage should reflect the relationship between Christ and the collective Church. Just as Christ loves the Church selflessly and sacrificially, God asks husbands to love their wives the same way.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”(Ephesians 5:25)
Reciprocally, wives are to submit to their husbands as the Church submits to Christ (Ephesians 5:22-24).
This mutual care, respect, faithfulness, and love between a man and a woman make up the foundation of a *lifelong Christian marriage, as God decrees.
*Note: The Bible clarifies that there are some circumstances under which a marriage may end (e.g. 1 Corinthians 7:15; Matthew 5:32). For more info, see here.
5 biblical tips to help you know if God wants you to be with someone in marriage
In light of the above, the question thus arises: How can you know if God wishes for you to marry a specific person?
Well, the reality is that everyone’s journey with God is unique. He speaks to each of us in a deeply personal way, so there’s no one-size-fits-all exhaustive checklist.
However, here are 5 general tips, rooted in the Bible, that may help you gradually discern His will for your specific relationship.
1. Christ-like qualities
Marriage is far more than initial sparks and chemistry; character matters.
Of course, as humans, we can never have perfect character like Christ, who is God made flesh (John 1:14).
However, as believers, we should look out for a partner who desires to live life with Christ-like qualities, despite his / her inevitable stumbles and imperfections (1 John 2:6).
Such qualities include genuine humility (John 13:14-17), compassion (Matthew 14:14), honesty (John 18:37), patience (1 Timothy 1:16), a forgiving nature (Luke 23:34), self-control (Matthew 4:1-11), generosity (Acts 20:35), and faithfulness (1 Corinthians 1:9), among other things.
Key Point: If a partner actively seeks to live out Christ-like qualities, it’s a good (albeit partial) sign they could be the spouse God has intended for you.
2. Godly love
True God-inspired love is defined as such:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”1 Corinthians 13:4-7
In short, love between a couple isn’t about short-term, self-centered feelings. It’s about actively choosing to be kind, respectful, and dignified toward each other. It is a lifelong commitment to serve each other with steady care and faithfulness.
Of course, all relationships have their ups and downs. Fights and disagreements will surely happen.
But if you and your partner consistently and sincerely prioritize loving each other in the biblical way, you’re probably on the right track for a marriage aligned with God’s desires.
Key Point: A relationship striving for true godly love is an encouraging sign that marriage is a possibility.
3. Equally yoked
God’s Word is clear: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Among other relationship types, this Bible verse points to how important it is for spouses to have a common faith in Christ. This is key for mutual, long-term encouragement to avoid backsliding.
However, being equally yoked is much more than simply attending church together on Sundays.
Instead, it signifies a shared and deeper aim to keep growing in Christ together. For example, this could mean the two of you raising a God-focused family, participating in a joint ministry, or choosing to learn more about Him as a couple.
In short, when your partner shows a commitment to walk with Christ for the long-haul, marriage may be a possible next step.
Key Point: If both of you are equally yoked in faith, it’s a compelling sign that your relationship is in line with God’s will.
4. Ask God for a supernatural confirmation to know if you should marry someone
Another way to help you know if God wants you to marry someone is to directly seek His supernatural confirmation. The Bible gives examples of this, like when Gideon asked for a sign from Him and received it (Judges 6:36-40).
However, please be humble when asking God for His will on your relationship. This isn’t a way to ‘test’ Him, as Matthew 4:7 warns us. Instead, root your aim in a desire to seek out and follow His bigger plan for you, based on your love for Him. Be sincere and open (Jeremiah 29:13), as well as patient with His sovereign timing in responding.
A word of caution: Be careful not to project your own preferences onto God’s will. Try to stay unbiased as you seek His confirmation on a possible marriage. Cross-reference signs with biblical principles and consult trusted, godly advisors. If it’s truly God’s will, it will resonate deeply in your spirit and is likely to be affirmed via multiple means and sources.
A word of encouragement: Both you and your partner should seek God’s confirmation with equal desire. He will respond to each of you individually. Collectively, these independent responses can help you more clearly know if God wants you to be with someone in marriage or not.
With all this in mind, let’s delve into 6 ways that God may supernaturally confirm His wishes for you and your partner to marry.
Please take note that these are just broad overviews. God communicates with each of us in unique ways. So be open to His specific guidance for you, however that may come.
6 supernatural ways God may confirm if He wants you to wed someone
i) ‘Fleeces’ and Signs:
Just like Gideon, you can humbly ask God for a tangible sign or ‘fleece’ to confirm if your relationship will lead to marriage. Make sure your request is genuine and aligned with biblical principles. Keep attentive to His possible answer.
ii) God’s Word
All of Scripture is God-breathed (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Thus, ask Him to lead you to a Bible verse that will speak to your decision. Be sure to study the greater context and meaning of the passage to grasp how it applies to your life.
iii) Prayerful counsel
Proverbs 11:14 states, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
In this regard, seek godly advice on the future of your relationship from close mentors, pastors, or trusted friends.
Ensure that these individuals are earnestly striving to discern God’s will through prayer, just as you are, rather than merely offering their own opinions. A spiritual consensus among you could help clarify whether marriage is, or is not, in the works for you.
iv) Christ-given peace
Philippians 4:6-7 talks about God’s peace that surpasses all human understanding. Jesus gives us true rest like no other (John 14:27).
If you consistently feel at peace about marrying your partner whenever you pray, this may be a sign from God.
You should regularly do an internal spiritual check to ensure this peace is sustained, not just for a fleeting moment. Over time, this will help you separate your personal feelings from God’s, giving you confidence to move ahead.
v) Divine situations or appointments
Sometimes God arranges divine situations or appointments to confirm His will (e.g. Acts 8:26-40; Acts 16:25-34). These are instances where events somehow perfectly align in such a way that the path forward becomes a little clearer.
For example, imagine this: you pray alone, asking God about marriage. Just hours later, you bump into an old friend. Out of the blue, he or she asks if you’re planning to get married soon.
In short, these divine moments can vary greatly, limited only by God’s infinite creativity. Typically, they will almost always stand out for their impeccable timing and messages that match your prayers. The more they occur, the less likely you can consider them as mere coincidences.
vi) Visions and dreams
God sometimes speaks to us through dreams, just as He did with Joseph (Matthew 1:20-24). Visions also still happen today as they did in biblical times (Acts 9:3-6; Acts 10:3-6; Acts 16:9-10).
If you receive a dream or vision that points toward marriage, this could serve as a confirmation from God.
Dreams and visions can be powerful. However, be sure to verify that your experiences align with Scripture. In addition, seek counsel from trusted, godly people as a double-check to ensure you don’t confuse your own consciousness with God’s true message.
If the dreams / visions are truly from God and not just you, they will be biblically consistent and are likely to be confirmed via multiple people and avenues over time.
Key Point: The above are just 6 out of many supernatural ways that God may confirm your marital choice. Sincerely ask Him for biblically-aligned signs and be ready to obey. His responses will guide you in picking the right spouse.
5. Attend a pre-marriage course at a local church
Proverbs 19:20 stresses the value of godly advice: “Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.”
A pre-marriage course at your local church can offer you wisdom from married couples on essential matters like communication and finances. These courses, typically several weeks long, allow you and your partner to internalize key biblical principles as both of you continually seek God’s confirmation.
Combined with your own prayers and signs from God, this structured guidance may be His way of helping you gain confidence in your decision about marriage.
Key Point: Joining a pre-marriage course will give you additional time to pray, reflect, and know if God wants you to be with someone in marriage.